Saturday, October 27, 2007
Not my finest moment
We had a rough night last night. Big G was out for the evening and a combination of whiny kids, an overtired and preoccupied mommy, and trying to do too many things before bed ended in disaster. I'll spare you the details, but kids were crying, mommy was crying, and many apologies had to be given before finally tucking everyone in for bed.
At one point when I actually screamed into a pillow to try to release the frustration I couldn't seem to calm, I heard Little G quietly praying "Dear Jesus, please help mommy have patience..." I wasn't sure whether to cry that he felt I was so out of control that only God could help me, or rejoice that he knew to turn to the Lord in times of trouble.
At moments like that I wonder if I'm really cut out for this parenting gig. And I think I'm going to homeschool?!? I start to doubt how we have raised our kids so far - WHY are they so whiny and ungrateful 'all' the time? Behaviors that I logically know are just occasional problems blow up into massive problems and everything seems wrong.
Thankfully, I don't get like this very often, but when I do it makes me question everything I normally think and feel about parenting. I wish I knew how to avoid these meltdowns - are they an attack from the enemy or just a normal thing that all mothers experience??
At one point when I actually screamed into a pillow to try to release the frustration I couldn't seem to calm, I heard Little G quietly praying "Dear Jesus, please help mommy have patience..." I wasn't sure whether to cry that he felt I was so out of control that only God could help me, or rejoice that he knew to turn to the Lord in times of trouble.
At moments like that I wonder if I'm really cut out for this parenting gig. And I think I'm going to homeschool?!? I start to doubt how we have raised our kids so far - WHY are they so whiny and ungrateful 'all' the time? Behaviors that I logically know are just occasional problems blow up into massive problems and everything seems wrong.
Thankfully, I don't get like this very often, but when I do it makes me question everything I normally think and feel about parenting. I wish I knew how to avoid these meltdowns - are they an attack from the enemy or just a normal thing that all mothers experience??
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